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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
- Buddha
Part of our journey toward improved mental health is getting to know ourselves. With that comes answering the questions, “Who am I?” and “How do I feel about myself?” These questions are a way to start talking about self-concept and self-esteem, which are two important ideas in psychology.
Although people often confuse these two concepts as being the same, they are actually distinct ideas that aid in our understanding of and relationship with ourselves, which promotes improved mental health.
The American Psychological Association defines self-concept as “one’s description and evaluation of oneself, including psychological and physical characteristics, qualities, skills, roles, and so forth [sic].” Self-esteem, on the other hand, "reflects a person's physical self-image, view of their accomplishments and capabilities, values, and perceived success in living up to them, as well as the ways in which others view and respond to that person [sic]."
Let’s explore both psychological concepts below.
Who am I? — Self-Concept
How we see ourselves, or our self-concept, affects how we feel, what drives us, and how we act. Our experiences, skills, and points of view, along with the reactions of others to our actions, can shape our self-concept. Here are other factors that can influence it:
- Our personalities
- The culture we grew up in
- Different roles in life, such as in employment, family dynamics, friendship
- Our hobbies and interests
- Our feelings towards the interactions we have in the world
- The media: the ideals portrayed in it and the characters a person relates with
Can we change our self-concept? Yes! Different factors could contribute to changing our self-concept, such as a person’s environment, medical condition, and the people we surround ourselves with. The way we interact and respond to these factors can shape our self-concept, either positively or negatively.
Therefore, how we respond to the question, "Who am I?" may reveal something about our self-concept.
Suggested activity: Write down your traits (adjectives) that best describe you as an individual on a piece of paper or in your journal.
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How do I feel about myself? — Self-Esteem
When we talk about self-esteem, it is the concept of how we value and feel about who we are and our worth. Being happy with how you see yourself can impact your motivation, feelings, ability to make decisions, relationships, and overall quality of life.
Our sense of self-esteem usually goes down when we're younger and up when we get older. However, having too much or too little self-esteem can be hard.
- Individuals with low self-esteem may question their own abilities, lack the drive to try new things, have trouble expressing themselves, have trouble in relationships (because they have difficulties stating their needs), and lack confidence.
- People with high self-esteem may overestimate their strengths and skills, desire perfection in relationships, and avoid self-improvement.
Thus, it is important to develop healthy self-esteem. Here are some factors that could affect our self-esteem:
- Thought Patterns
- Age
- Biological factors: genetics, medical issues, and limitations.
- Physical abilities.
- Socioeconomic Background
Can we improve our self-esteem? Yes! This may be challenging, especially if one has a difficult time with their relationship with themselves. Here are some strategies one can try:
1. Be aware of our negative thought patterns. This can be challenging because we tend to believe the instant thoughts that rise up in our mind. The first step to changing it is being aware of those negative thoughts.
2. Challenge negative thinking patterns. After the awareness of negative thought patterns comes challenging these patterns. One activity you could try to do this is:
Suggested activity: On a piece of paper, draw a table with 2 columns labeled as Negative Self-Talk and Reframed Self-Talk. You can write 3 to 5 statements that usually come up in you and reframe them. Challenge yourself by saying the reframed statement whenever the negative thought pops up. You got this, Empath!
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3. Practice self-compassion. It may be challenging if you have a difficult relationship with yourself, but practicing simple acts of self-compassion like pausing before reacting or forgiving yourself are good places to start.
4. Practice positive self-talk. Self-forgiveness is one way we could practice positive self-talk and move forward from the past experiences that we’ve had.
Understanding the distinction between self-concept and self-esteem can enhance your relationship with yourself. Both ideas help us grow by making us think about who we are and what we value. It's possible to improve both traits by doing small, regular things, like writing about them in a notebook or challenging negative self-talk.
Personal improvement is an ongoing process. It is a journey, not a destination. Take the time to nurture your inner self—you’re worth it.
References:
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