Acceptance on Goodbyes

‍

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once stated, "There is nothing permanent except change," which rings true but can be challenging to accept. 

‍

As we move on to new chapters in our lives, we have the bittersweet experience of saying goodbye. These could be either big or small, such as saying goodbye to your mother who is leaving for work, planning your class's final batch party before graduation, bidding farewell to your childhood bedroom as you begin to move out of your parents' home, or saying your final goodbyes to those with whom you have ended relationships.

‍

However, not all goodbyes are sad. Some may be necessary to enhance one's life, such as quitting smoking or excessive expenses, or leaving a demanding workplace and poor eating habits. 

‍

Many of us say our goodbyes, adioses, cíaos, and paalams all the time, but it still hurts, and some of us feel it more than others. Despite this, these experiences can impact our overall well-being, how we deal with future endings, and how we transition to the next stages of our lives. More significantly, children must learn how to deal with this, as it will affect how they deal with separations and letting go as they get older.

‍

Whether your goodbyes are big or small, planned or spontaneous, we all grieve for those (people, situations, and places) that have been important or constant in our lives. Grieving does not necessarily imply that someone has died. This feeling can also come up when we lose something important to us. 

‍“I hope this grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her.”

Andrew Garfield

‍

Normally, it is difficult for us to accept and face the fact that something wonderful or constant in our lives has ended and that we must go forward while also healing. Allowing ourselves to feel the sadness that comes with saying goodbye is important. This feeling, like all others, will pass. 

‍

When we say goodbye to something or someone, we also go through different stages of grief. We experience various phases of grief, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. As difficult as the path to acceptance may be, it is a transformative step toward coping. As the last step in the grieving process, acceptance is important because it helps us deal with things that are happening in our lives.

Acceptance makes us feel better. When we finally accept that some things have come to an end and some people must be let go, we feel lighter as we go forward in our lives. Naturally, you may feel sad and grieve as you progress, but everything will be fine.

‍

Acceptance helps us make the changes we need to move forward. When we feel better, we are more likely to make the changes and adjustments needed to move forward. These steps may vary for each individual, but eventually, you will find yourself feeling more like yourself after saying goodbye to something or someone.

‍

Acceptance enables us to be compassionate to ourselves and others. It brings a better awareness of our needs and goals in life. It also allows us to relate to others and be more understanding and sensitive when someone is coping with loss in their lives.

‍

Finally, closures, along with acceptance, are essential. According to research, a well-rounded ending—one that includes a sense of closure—can make someone feel like they have truly finished something. People who are able to go through this process tend to have few regrets about past situations and people, maintain an optimistic outlook, and find it easy to start over. It demonstrates that how we end situations or relationships influences how we enter a new stage of life.

‍

One of the things we dread but must do is let go and say goodbye. Just remember that new beginnings often follow farewells. 

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Semisonic, Closing Time

‍

Reference:

• Barth, F. D. (2014, July 26). 5 Ways to Make Goodbyes Less Painful. Psychology Today. Retrieved October 18, 2024, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/off-the-couch/201407/5-ways-to-make-goodbyes-less-painful 
• Clarke, J. (2023, December 7). How the Five Stages of Grief Can Help Process a Loss. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/five-stages-of-grief-4175361 
• Growth, C. F. (2024). Coping with Goodbyes. Counseling | Therapy. https://www.thecenterforgrowth.com/tips/all-the-different-reasons-to-say-goodbye 
• Nenn, K. (2024, September 19). Until Next Time: The Benefit Of Healthy Goodbyes. MentalHealth.com. https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/until-next-time-the-benefit-of-healthy-goodbyes 
• Saying Goodbye and Saying it Well. (2019, April 29). https://www.apa.org. Retrieved October 18, 2024, from https://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/issue-135 
• Why is acceptance important for our mental health? | MyMind - Centre for Mental Wellbeing. (2020, December 16). Retrieved October 18, 2024, from https://mymind.org/why-is-acceptance-important-for-our-mental-health

‍