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As long as we live, we will inevitably encounter setbacks and challenges in achieving our goals, as well as loss—whether it be in the form of loved ones or plans. When we experience such events, we always hear sentiments of moving on.
Recently, people have viewed the term "moving on" as a hindrance rather than a motivation, as it implies that you must immediately let go of everything in order to feel better and avoid wasting time and resources. And thus, the term “moving forward” is kinder and more motivating than the latter.
If you’re familiar with the Disney movie Meet the Robinsons, the Robinsons have a memorable and meaningful motto: “Keep moving forward.”
Trivia: This quote is actually from the late Walt Disney, the creator and founder of Disneyland and Walt Disney World.
Moving on and Moving Forward: Is there a difference?
In her article for Lifestyle INQ, "How to move forward instead of just moving on," Cathay Babao-Guballa, a grief educator and counselor, discusses both aspects.
"Moving on" implies leaving everything, both good and bad, behind, while "moving forward" involves choosing to carry with us the valuable and positive aspects of whatever and whoever we have left or has left us. Moving forward encourages us to take the memories and the lessons that we’ve learned without regret and without forgetting the love that once was.
Taylor Wilkins, a mental health educator, shares that moving forward is a gentler process where you notice and honor your feelings and experiences, unlike moving on, which sometimes causes one to suppress the effects of their experiences.
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How can I move forward mindfully?
Moving forward from a situation that has hurt us to something or someone we truly need to let go of is always easier said than done. However, there are healthy steps you can take to move forward while being mindful of your healing journey. Here are some steps for you to consider:
1. Let go of being right
Determining who is right and who is at fault shouldn't be the starting point for making progress. Recognizing that we may have done or said something incorrectly in certain instances is a crucial step, and it is acceptable. In this way, you let go of the desire to manage and become more inclined to forgive yourself and possibly others along the way.
2. Acceptance
As we discussed in our previous posts, accepting the changes or the things we will be leaving behind, such as places and people, is crucial for effective coping. Accepting the situation you are in helps you to feel better, make needed changes, and become compassionate to yourself and others.
3. Show yourself self-compassion
Going through changes and transitions in life can be challenging and painful, and it can sometimes result in someone feeling lost and confused. All of these are part of the journey, and it is essential that we show ourselves compassion as we go through this phase.
One of the things we could do to show self-compassion—being kind and understanding toward ourselves—is to be proactive with our lives. We may react so strongly to our feelings that we end up doing things that could harm us or others, such as not eating, shouting to express feelings, or isolating ourselves from our friends.
We could try to be proactive by taking care of ourselves, such as eating healthy, having good sleeping habits, and taking up hobbies or exploring new ones. Setting boundaries as you navigate this phase in your life is important in taking care of yourself too.
4. Practice gratitude
As previously stated, progressing onward allows one to truly value the wonderful experiences and insights gained from a person or a place encountered. Dr. Seuss beautifully reminds us: “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”
5. Seek support
Changes and transitions in life—whether they are significant or minor—can present challenges and feelings of overwhelm for some, while others may navigate them with ease. Seeking support from your peers or trusted adults is a courageous step toward growth and resilience.
At times, we find strength in the support of those around us as we journey through different stages of our lives.
Wherever you are in life, remember that you are trying your best, even if it can be confusing at times. We are here to support you as you go forward.
If you or your loved one needs any assistance, Empath is ready to support you every step of the way. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions at hello@empath.ph. We're here to help!
NOTE: Please keep in mind that the solutions listed above may not work for those who have been through a traumatic experience. To deal with your feelings and thoughts, Empath offers services to help and lead you towards healing.
Reference:
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